Shit Happens: Berlin's Little Presents on Floor
It was a normal day, I had an appointment to make, I was a bit rushing, partially because of my terrible time management skills, partially because my appointment with the bank was shifted to another bank without my being aware. Y'know, shit happens, no big deal, and then it happens, I take a step in a little present left behind by one of Berlin's furry residents. A big pile of shit.
I was wearing my new boots that I had just gotten, so needless to say the fury of a thousand suns was resting within me, luckily an older lady saw my predicament, and came to help. She carried damn baby wipes because of how often this happens to her apparently. I was grateful, to say the least. But I couldn't stay and chat because I had an appointment.
But this brings up a good point, why the hell haven't we been regulating this harder? There's a law, but clearly no one's following this law (and let's be real, we break laws that are small all the time cause we really don't care) so regulations need to get stricter, punishment definitely needs to get more strict. To give an example, Switzerland will fine you 100 CHF (93.77 Euro) for throwing a cigarette butt on the street in Zurich, and if you didn't know, Switzerland is a pretty clean country, remarkably so in fact.
The funniest thing I've seen to date was when I saw a woman picking up after her dog, then proceed to drop the bag right beside the tree. Just that logic alone completely made me want to scream out in anger not because of caring for the environment, no, because how bat shit crazy the premise of that action was to me. Like, actually think for a second, how do you come to that conclusion? Do you just reckon the tree will use it as manure? Does the bag make sure the manure stays “fresh”? Does anyone know? Please? I'd like to know, tweet me if you can think of a good reason.
But in all honesty, is it that difficult to pick up your dog's chocolate sundae? If you have a dog, just pick up after them, especially the big ones, those make real big piles.
I mean do we really want to become Paris? The capital of dog shit?
By Florian Schmidt
If you're into more observations of Berlin, why don't you follow me on twitter; @teabagtroopers